Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The last of the year...

Well, here I am house sitting again! My boss and his wife left for Canada on Christmas morning and they'll be back this weekend. It's my first time being alone, though. Bo is feeding animals for our neighbors AM and PM so she had to stay home. It's been fun! Indy the dog keeps me company.
I am so ready to have a home of my own. These little "practice runs" at other peoples' places just keep confirming that. My own dishes, my own furniture, my own bed, my own flowers, my own routine, my own smells, my own colors in my own kitchen. Mine, mine, mine, me, me, me! Well, it isn't that bad, but you get the idea. Speaking of own flowers, Robin's house plants need to be watered and I have to prepare the lesson for youth tonight and I haven't eaten since 9:30 this morning. Toodles!

Monday, December 26, 2005

*sigh*

I never knew one could feel so treasured, so cherished. At 12:05 on the morning of December 25, 2005, Anders told me that he loved me. I knew, of course, but this was the first time he had said those words and didn't mean "like a sister". "I love you, too!" was my response. Those tiny words are so small compared to what they mean to me. It was like God leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. Accepting the blessing of Anders' love filled me with such a flood of worship to the One who created such love. The One who loves us so much that what I feel for Anders is indifference in comparison to His fierce, tender, jealous, unexplainable passion for us. God, You blow me away. Thank you! Teach me to love You like that...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The plunge...

I feel it is time to bring everyone up to speed with the gritty details of my life. Not annoying gritty like the leftover polish in one's teeth after the dentist, but the joyful kind like finding beach sand from the summer in the creases of one's duffel bag during the winter.
Anyway, the easiest way to get this done is to just say it. The beginning is a good place to start. Anders, Bo, and I have been best friends for some now. August 2006 will mark the 7th anniversary of our meeting. The last four and a half years have brought more amorous feelings for Anders from me but I was able to mask them from him anyway until about 2 1/2 years ago when he started reciprocating them. God did a lot of work in me those two years I was alone in my feelings. LOTS!!! Like getting it through my head that He and He alone will ever complete and fulfill me. I had to be His first and foremost before He would allow "a man in my life." A few days before Anders left for Texas for a year we were finally able to express what had been growing between us the last 14 months or so. Then he left. We agreed that a year was a long time for people to be apart and so we would see what God would do. I'm still amazed at what He did do! Honor Academy rules dictate that any relationship between the genders would be strictly platonic, so I spent Anders' three visits home pretending that I didn't love him and he was afraid of being dismissed so he kind of kept me at arm's length. It was really hard and confusing and stressful and I gained and lost the same three pounds over and over again. The only thing that I could really cling to was knowing that God was in charge and that whatever He brought to pass would be very good. What a lesson in trust!
Fast-forward to September 8, 2005. Anders and I had our first "talk" since he left. We shared some things that God had shown us and just kind of talked things out. Neither of us felt lead to commit to a romance at the time so we decided to set our acknowledged feelings for each other aside for a time and take another dose of platonic tonic. Get to know each other again. Keep building our friendship. Find out where and how God had grown us. What we didn't know was that the expiration date on the tonic was only four months away. We had prayed that God would give us the love for each other that He wanted us to have. We completely and repeatedly surrendered "us" to Him and begged that He would do His work uninhibited by our human efforts. He has surprised us, friends! Surprised us with what He had done in each other's lives, with the growth and maturity we saw, and with the love He has blessed us with.
December 10, 2005 at the Bean Tree (a charming coffee shop), after serious consultations with parents and mentors, Anders and I decided to "kick our relationship out of neutral" and move slowly but deliberately into courtship to see if God has marriage in mind for us. There are still many patches of heavy fog that we can't see through right now, but we are committed to glorifying God with all that we do. Our relationship is to reflect our relationship with God as His church. We are dedicated to fighting for physical, mental, and spiritual purity and helping each other out in that fight. It is rough. It is beautiful. It is something I wouldn't trade for the world on a silver platter. We are at peace and filled with a joyful excitement over what is ahead. Rejoice with us, friends, and please keep us in your prayers.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Joys of Pain

Pain...we all know it personally in one way or another. Physical, emotional, imagined, actual. Pain of our own and pain we feel on behalf of others. Sharp, dull, brief, and lasting. Pain caused by others and pain we bring on ourselves. It can be a good thing! It warns us that something is not quite right. It reminds us of our humanity and drives us to the One who comforts, heals, rescues, and holds us and tells us it's gonna be okay!
Thomas Ward Walker died at 22 weeks gestation early last week. He was 6.4 oz. and 8.5 inches long, perfectly formed. The pain I experienced the day I heard was like that I might feel if my own son had died. I hurt for the Walkers as a family, for Rebecca as a mother, as my friend, and I hurt for me. I hurt again for the loss of my brother and sister-in-law's unborn baby who died almost a year ago. I think it hurts me so bad because I long for children of my own. When Rebecca and Michele were pregnant I got to be excited with them and for them and for the joy of the "someday" of my own. I got to pretend and dream. When the babies died, my dream baby (in some wierd way) died with them. I've begged God not to let this happen to me. Then Wednesday while praying for the Walker family on the floor of my friend's bedroom, He asked me "What if I do let miscarriage happen to you? What if your baby dies before being born?" Talk about a red hot poker through my soul!!!! I had to pray for strength to answer! He has been with me through all the "Isaacs" I've had to lay on the altar of obedient worship and He gave me the courage and strength to lay this one down. If the plan of my sovereign and loving God requires the life or death of my future children, then they are His. If His plan will be carried out in my never having children or never marrying, my body and life are His to do with as He pleases. He has never let me down and it is not in His character to start now. He was, is, and always will be worthy of all praise in every situation. My heart is at peace because it is resting in His hands. The name of my God is a strong tower in which I am safe. Thank you, LORD!!!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Back at it!

Well, today is the day Fall Quarter starts here at CCE. Algebra 1 and General Psychology this time. Eight credits total-the most I've ever done. I have a lot of friends in Psych, so that'll be fun. I am now waiting for psych to start at 3:30. Another 2 1/2 hours to go. Sigh! I can always do math homework and add to my blog, I guess.
The hay crew campout was last week at Olallie Lake. Very fun. Went by very fast. We swam in the very cold lake on very cold days (how can one resist being in the water?), climbed all over the very cool rocks at the lava flow of the nearby mountain, and took very funny pictures and movie clips. A few of us are putting together said media to make a very spiffy movie. We worked on it for a few hours yesterday and got about 10 minutes done. That's almost like claymation movies! I love you, Wallace and Gromit!
Anders came home from his year at The Honor Academy in Texas last month. It has been great getting used to having him home. I really look forward to getting to know him again. God has done a lot of work in both of us this past year in different areas of our lives. Exciting stuff! More on that some other time.
I think we're all done housesitting. I hope so because I miss being home! I'm tired of packing and living out of my duffel bag. My flower garden is a mess and I need to reorganize my stuff at home.
Well, I need to go to the bank and give a shopping list to Mr. P for the lasagne I'm making for his hunting trips. I also want to see what Bo has been doing on her blog. Talk at y'all later!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Woah!

I, like, haven't been to my blog in, like, ages! No internet access is annoying when one is trying to keep up with things. No time to write-have to help friends and have a chat. Whew! Toodles! My garlic is great, bytheway.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Yummyness

I love garlic. Today I am at the library and just finished flipping through "The Stinking Cookbook" put out by a California resaurant called The Stinking Rose. Here's a recipe for 40 Clove Garlic Chicken and Garlic Chowder and Garlic Filet Mignon. *Shudder of pleasure* I am about to harvest my first garlic crop this month. I planted some Italian Late and some Georgian Crystal from the country of Georgia--not the state. Can't wait to roast some and spread the aromatic paste over some crusty bread shared with creamy brie. *Sigh* One of few things that are absolute yummyness and absolute healthiness at the same time! Cheers!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Beautiful poem by Michelle McKinney Hammond

Like a phoenix rising
she rose in slow motion
with the earth reluctant
to release her
pungent with its
musky scent
soft and molded
resembling earth
with its mountains
and its valleys
crests and peaks
she rose
silently
hesitantly
gaining her footing
steadying herself on
long slim legs
that were yet unsure
of standing...
she rose and stood
breathing in the air
God had breathed into her
feeling her soul unfold its wings within her...
the early dusk
reflected highlights of deep amber
red
and golden brown
upon her skin
as the earth from which she had been formed
damp and moist
still clung insistently
to her limbs
she rose
she stood
she waited...
waited until he arose
this man
this setting from which she had been taken
even now she felt the phantom remains
of other ribs encircling her
making her feel safe
as she awaited her discovery...
bone of his bone
flesh of his flesh
yet a separate entity
she breathed in harmony with him
feeling his pulse
hearing his heartbeat in her head
she was one with him
though outside of him
and when he awoke he knew
instinctively
profoundly
and definately knew
that this was woman
a mirror of himself
the extension of his own arms
and so he wrapped himself around her
tucking her beneath his heart
to keep her warm
and the two became one
balancing the weight of life between them
and in the face of every tempest
she arose
in his strength which had become hers
and hers his
she arose to redefine him daily
as a glorious testament
of all that was beautiful
all that was pure
and all that was good
she arose to embrace the origin
of who she was
who she would always be
woman
taken from man
from the earth
the signature of God
completing the sentence that man had begun
bringing him to life
carrying the breath of His spirit within her...
the glory of her man
the covering of her children
the giver of life
she could not be contained
for she bore all things within herself
and in this capacity
she arose to give
as only a woman can give
for it is a gift to the world
this creation called woman...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

More on likes...

  1. Hands-free headsets on cell phones
  2. Singing in the shower when no one else is home
  3. Call me crazy, but I love haying!
  4. A good night's sleep
  5. Line-dried towels
  6. "I Love Lucy" reruns
  7. Listening to TobyMac while typing up a list of things that I like
  8. August is next month
  9. Resting in God's sovereignty
  10. Visits with extended family
  11. Reading a book or watching a movie that makes me cry
  12. Laughing until my face hurts, I'm crying, I can't breathe, and my sides ache
  13. Daydreaming
  14. EATING
  15. A good workout (do you notice that this comes right after eating?)
  16. My new swimming suit
  17. Slumber parties
  18. Coke floats, baby!
  19. The book of Job in the Bible
  20. Group prayer where everyone prays because they want to
  21. Concerts
  22. Reading out loud
  23. Being read to
  24. Spelling tests
  25. Genuine compliments- no flattery with ulterior motives
  26. Getting comments on my blog *hint hint*
  27. Sitting on my dad's lap and listening to his heart beating
  28. Reminiscing with old friends
  29. Burping contests in which no one throws up
  30. Swimming-ocean, lake, crick, pool...
  31. Guilt-free long, hot showers
  32. Rolling out the perfect pie crust
  33. Coming home from a long trip
  34. Moving into a new house
  35. Popcorn
  36. Ham
  37. The first, sacred four-swallow drink of Coke after which the eyes water from the carbonization
  38. Inside jokes (that I'm in on)
  39. Sam Weller
  40. Eye liner
  41. Contact lenses
  42. The hope of future laser surgery
  43. Living in America
  44. Babies
  45. My family
  46. The grace of God
  47. Mechanical pencils
  48. Black licorice
  49. Running around in warm summer rains
  50. Thunder and lightening storms

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Porridge Today, Gromit, Tuesday!

Well, here I am again in someone else's house on someone else's computer drinking someone else's coffee and listening to someone else's dog barking. You guessed it! Housesitting! Believe it or not, I quite enjoy it. I get the experience of keeping my own house for anywhere from a few days to three weeks without the hastles of bills. This time my boss and his wife have escaped to our beautiful island state of Hawaii for two weeks. The Walkers returned safe and sound from putting 6200 miles on their 15 passenger van (Ford, baby!) going to Texas and back. Shortly after they returned, it was announced that they were again blessing our lives with a button-cute Walker baby! This will make six kids in the house. Tim and Rebecca, you are truely an inspiration! God bless and protect you!
I'm going to sign off now. Things to do. Why can't my blog be as interesting as Bo's?! www.gibberishofbo.blogspot.com