Sheesh!

Don't you just hate it when there are so many emotions and thoughts and feelings running through your brain that you don't know which one to pick out and begin with? I know I do. I'm feeling a little lonely tonight. Barbara is staying the night at home with our dogs while I'm here at Jim's with Indie. Anders went to the Dalles with his mom and Josh to visit family. Mom and Dad are in Portland until Mom comes home tomorrow. I'm feeling emotional for the reasons above and for the reason to follow. I'm getting treatments that will cure my oral herpes for good. No more outbreaks. With the treatments come massage to get the lymph system flushing out toxins. When toxins get flushed into the blood stream to be dealt with in the liver, they cause the emotions to fluctuate. So I'm cleansing; I'm tired; I miss Anders, my parents, and my sister; and those seem very good reasons to be emotional. Remember that this comes with the territory with me being the woman I was created. There are times I wish I could turn them off and just see what it feels like to be "normal". Then I hear my sister's voice in my head saying, "Normal is a dryer setting." And God asks me if He made a mistake when He wired me. I hang my head and whisper no. I am the way I am because I'm the only one who can be me. No one else can do "La-la" with Katie like I can. No one can be Dad's favorite middle child like I can. No one else can make Anders come alive like I can. No one else can say the things I do, feel things the way I do, pray like I can. No one can give God the same love I can. No, I'm not better. I'm just me. And I'm fine with that. Confusing emotions and all. I am who God meant me to be.